Bang Head Here

When I was a kid I remember that I liked to amuse myself with a poster that was taped to a wall in the kitchen of the Country Lodge. In big, bold letters above a target-like circle it read: In Case of Stress, Bang Head Here. At this moment, I wish I had that poster on my wall.

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

It has been a loooong day. And it's still not over. (I am currently stealing a moment to myself while allowing Jamie and Raina to play on their father's computer. Strictly speaking they are not suppose to use more than 10 minutes of media time per day, but I've had it up to my ears with stress and thus took the necessary steps required to give myself a break.)

But first, a little background. It is Monday, the first official day of the Swiss version of fall break. The only difference is that even elementary school kids get it, and it is two. weeks. long.
Chrigl has been gone for over a week now, and Carrie was home last weekend on a medical leave of absence from her rehab clinic, so taking care of the kids on my own is not exactly new to me. The big difference now is that they don't go to school for large parts of the day, nor do they even have homework to keep them productive. Most of their little friends have left for family vacations as well, which leaves me to provide for and entertain two kids for a rather long period of time. Without a break for my sanity.

Now, you may be thinking that I'm just tired and therefore over-reacting. After all, I am new to the whole childcare thing. But really, I feel like I just jumped out of one of those cliche sitcom episodes where kids tie up the babysitter and burn the house down.
Ok, it's not that bad. But here are a list of things that have transpired in the last 12 hours:

Jamie lost his appetite at breakfast, and thus decided to throw his uneaten cereal on the floor.
In some unspoken need for revenge, innumerable lego ships were dropped from the second floor down a flight of stairs by Raina.
In retaliation, Jamie knocked Raina into a table, making her cry. (I HATE it when they wail. Makes me want to join in, sometimes...)
I lost count of the number of times someone pinched, kicked, hit, or called someone else a dirty name.
Jamie, when asked to clean his room, ran out of the house and rolled in the dirt so I wouldn't let him back in.
We played a variety of sports down at the empty school, the better to get some exercise. Jamie cheated, Raina cheated, people fell off of monkey bars and dropped crackers in the dirt, lost favorite bouncy balls and cried because they didn't win a game of field hockey. Then we went home for lunch.
Jamie refused to take a shower until (literally) placed in the bathroom by force.
Raina actually ate her carrots without complaint, resulting in her gloating at Jamie and his mouthful of orange chunks, almost causing Jamie to choke.
Juice was spilt on the coffee table.
While I was washing dishes several cookies went missing from the "off limits" cupboard.
Jamie borrowed Raina's princess costume without permission and refused to take it off until we played the card game he wanted. (This I succumbed to without much of a fight. At least card games are simple and relatively quite.)

Oh yeah, and...
I got locked out of the house.

Aren't kids great?!