The Five W's and the All Important H

There is little doubt in my mind dear reader that you, like every good gumshoe or sixth grade essayist before you, know all too well the importance of a collection of six, simple, all too common English words.

Alas, I myself never knew that these seemingly harmless terms, so vital to every good English major's lexicon, would one day return to haunt my dreams and disturb my waking hours with such subtle yet crippling force.
They are, of course:


Who
What
When
Where
Why
(and)
How


as in:


Who are you?
What are you doing? (with your life/ with your degree/ with your weekend, etc.)
When are you going to grow up and get a life worthy or respect ( and a paycheck?)
Where do you plan to be in six months/ five years/ ten years?
Why are you doing--or not doing, as the case may be--what you should/ were told/ feel you ought?
And of course, the all important...
How are you going to accomplish _______/ pay for _______/ get to _______ achieve ________?


Answer:  I Have No Idea.


Good Lord. 
How I miss the good old not so distant days when the hardest questions I had to face were:


Who do you admire most?
What good books have you read lately?
When is lunch?
Where did I put my keys?
Why did he buy 16 cases of Easy-Mac?
How did she get on the roof?!


Ah, yes. Simpler times! Who has stolen you from me? What has caused you to abandon my company? When shall I ever see you again? Where have you gone? Why have you forsaken me? How shall I ever survive in this new and infinitely more complicated age in which I find myself? 


Oh...I wish I knew!