Of Mind and Heart

About once a week (every week) for the last thirteen months I have drafted (and subsequently deleted) an e-mail to many a former college professor asking for advice on the subject of grad school. Now that I am an alumna rather than a student I feel at once more able to speak candidly with my former profs and yet less able to communicate at all, siting such lame reasons as distance and the desire not to waste their precious time. But the truth is I feel like I need their stamp of approval. It's as if I'm still in Brit Lit 207 and I cannot proceed with my first draft without having my enthymeme formally accepted. The only difference is that the essay in question is my educational future and I find the all important "because" clause--namely, the questionable reason(s) I possess for going to grad school--just as elusive now as ever it was before.

Thus, siting lack of courage and a complete inability to articulate myself effectively and succinctly through e-mail, I appeal to you, dear reader, for advice and whatever else you may like to add. The questions that I wish to put before those far wiser than myself are as follows:

Do you think I should go to grad school at all?
If not, what else do you think I should consider?
If so, why?
Where would you suggest?
Which programs do you think would be the most beneficial (Literature, Creative Writing, etc.)?
Where did you yourself go to grad school?
Was it a predominately positive experience?
Would you recommend an M.A., a PhD, or both?
How do you think graduate education has changed in the years following your years therein?
Do you think it is still worth the cost? (monetary, emotionally, and in terms of long-term commitment)
A lot of programs heavily advertise their staff--do you think professors are the most important factor in a programs value?
What do you believe are the three most important factors in selecting a graduate program?
And finally, how does one find the "diamond in the rough" schools (as, one could argue, Whitworth could be counted)?


I guess what I most want to know is this--where do you think I can find a place to belong in academia again? Whitworth was and is so unique, principally I suppose because of amazing importance places on individuals. Their education, their faith, their welfare. Not only did I receive a wonderful education, but I also felt a sincerity and authenticity among my fellow students as well as the staff. I found my peers to be intelligent, creative, supportive and kind individuals. Our professors too were brilliant in their own right, helpful beyond the call of duty, and extremely approachable. Classes where simulating, discussions broad and invigorating, and the dynamics of it all were positive throughout. It is my ambition to find such an affirmative environment once more.

Because as much as I love small M-town living, I feel the need for intellectual simulation like I feel the summer heat--it is a constant, almost nagging presence, intent upon taunting me until I crack under the pressure. But even more than that, I am in want of emotional connection. I am daily filled with the missing of my fellow English majors, my BISPer, my Pemberley ladies, my commune sisters, my Ivan-hoes, and the epicness of the Whitworth Writing Center. In the short period since my graduation I have realized how rare and remarkable it is that an institution can care so much for its students (and come to that, the students for one another) and still be successful. And while this realization makes me very grateful for my experience as well as hopeful that there are in fact similar institutions elsewhere, I do not know where they are nor how to find them. I would be very grateful for any assistance you might be able to provide that would uncover the mystery of graduate schools of the Mind and Heart variety.